Sex and pregnancy are closely intertwined – after all, sex is often what sets couples on that breath-holding journey toward parenthood. That said, the road to becoming parents can look very different. Some conceive through insemination or IVF. Regardless of how pregnancy begins, it’s common for sex life to change as the baby grows.
Hormones play a big role
Hormones affect both the body and sexual desire, which can either increase or decrease. As a partner, it’s also common to feel a bit ambivalent about sex. Even if you know intellectually that intercourse won’t harm the baby, it can still feel a little scary. Or your mind may simply be elsewhere – occupied with nursery wallpaper and thoughts about your future role as a parent. For some couples, sex becomes much less frequent, while others have more sex than ever before. There’s no way to predict how it will be. For couples who have struggled to conceive and spent months tracking ovulation and scheduling sex, it can feel liberating to finally have sex for pleasure rather than obligation.
The first trimester may not feel very sexy
If you’re dealing with nausea and exhaustion early in pregnancy, the first trimester is rarely a sexual paradise. It’s hard to feel turned on when your biggest fantasies revolve around sleep – and when even the faintest hint of body odour makes you feel sick.
As nausea and fatigue ease, and the pregnancy starts to feel more established, desire often returns. Increased blood flow to the pelvic area and clitoris is common during pregnancy. These physical changes can lead to increased lubrication during arousal and more intense orgasms.
More attractive than ever?
Many people find their pregnant partner more attractive and sexier than ever. The body becomes beautifully full and carries the promise of future parenthood. A stronger sense of “us” often develops, and sex can reinforce that closeness. Later in pregnancy, however, the laws of physics start to make themselves known – there’s a large bump to take into account, after all.
Some positions become more difficult
There are, of course, many ways to have sex, but as pregnancy progresses, certain positions may become uncomfortable or even impossible. If the pregnant person lies flat on their back in a missionary position, the uterus can compress major veins in the abdomen. This may cause nausea, dizziness, or even fainting – a condition known as vena cava syndrome.
Lying flat on the stomach is also impractical for obvious reasons. Being on top can feel uncomfortable if the bump moves around too much. Positions like spooning or doggy style often work better. Sex during pregnancy can become a creative exercise – comfort wins every time.
Sensitive mucous membranes and cervix
During pregnancy, the mucous membranes and cervix become more sensitive and may bleed more easily. It’s not uncommon to notice a small amount of fresh blood after sex. This is usually not a cause for concern if it’s just a few drops or something you notice on the toilet paper when wiping.
You don’t have to have sex
Even if you don’t feel like having sex, you can still cuddle, kiss, and be physically close. A relationship can be deeply loving and fulfilling even during a longer break from sex. What matters most is being attentive to your pregnant partner and understanding that she is being affected – both physically and emotionally – by the profound transformation she is going through.